When meat and alcohol are your entire personalities

If you are a fervent Reddit user or you are a currently devoted Smosh viewer, you would have heard a story of a woman who disrespected her daughter’s wish of a vegan and sober wedding by creating an alternative party, where meat and alcohol are served; she argued the extended family felt the meat and alcohol-free wedding would not just be boring, it also wouldn’t be a “true representation of who they are”.

The majority of redditors agreed she was an asshole. As someone who found this story from a Smosh video, I also noticed the majority of viewers shared the same sentiment. The majority.

Of course, there are the tiny minority that sticks out like an infected, pus-ridden thumb which I stumbled upon.

They made arguments that are definitely and certainly not predictable: they need alcohol to have fun and calm their nerves and they feel not having their meat craving catered to is discriminatory.

Yeah, bunch of bullshits.

If you need alcohol to have fun, you are boring. I mean, if you need to be stimulated by a literal addictive substance in order to be fun, you admit that you inherently have nothing interesting to offer.

And how can you be certain you have more fun when you barely have any recollections of it?

While I have never met drunkards, I have heard anecdotes about them: drunkards are only charming and funny to other drunkards; for the sober ones, they are just unappealing or even downright repulsive.

If you need alcohol to calm your nerves, you have an issue. You suffer from some kind of emotional disorder… and yet, instead of asking for a professional help, you are self-medicating; don’t act like your doctor prescribes you alcohol.

And here’s the thing about us, meat eaters: Nobody forces us to eat meat at every single goddamn meal.

We don’t have any medical, religious and moral reasons to do so. If we skip meat for one or a few meals, we wouldn’t put our health in danger and break any of our principles. We would be just fine, both figuratively and literally.

We eat meat not because of any obligations, we eat meat because we feel entitled to.

If you think forcing vegans to serve non-vegan foods is morally justified, then how do you feel about forcing practicing Muslims and Jews to serve pork or forcing Hindus to serve beef?

If you think that is also morally justified, then you are a hopeless cunt. But, if you think it isn’t, then why?

Why do you think one is okay while the other isn’t? Why do you think religious dietary restrictions are something to be respected while non-religious ones aren’t? What’s with the selectiveness?

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Yeah, I know. The vegan and abstinent crowds have their share of combative and holier-than-thou pricks. But, it gets to the point where not only we stereotype every single vegan and sober person as such, we get offended by their mere existence….

… And we end up embracing alcohol and meat as our entire personalities, embracing combativeness and self-righteousness which we accuse vegans and sober people of.

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Remember the Mr Beast blind controversy?

Yeah, can you motherfuckers just be intellectually honest for once? No one and I mean no one are hating on him simply for helping blind people.

They hate him because they believe he is not being sincere and he exploited those people just for clout. They believe that if he is actual sincere, he wouldn’t feel the need to advertise his philanthropy and he certainly wouldn’t use that visually jarring thumbnail.

Personally, I am one of the people who believe he was being sincere. But, I also cannot blame people for being cynical about it. I mean, the thumbnail and the bragging? They remind people of exploitative, poverty-porn content which also exists in the media, including Youtube.

Oh and virtue signaling and exploitation exist. Believe it or not, some humans can be entirely driven by self-interest and have zero regards about others’ well-being. And those humans exploit your craving for feelgoodism.

Some of you argue Mr. Beast wouldn’t be able to donate if it wasn’t for such videos. But, that is not true, is it?

I mean, where do you think he gets his money from? It is clear that before he started giving money away and covered people’s medical expenses, he was already rich from his youtube endeavour. He is more than capable to be charitable without capitalising on it.

And I still haven’t talked about the second reason why people are angry.

They are angry at the system. They are angry that the government and/or the society fail to take care of the most vulnerable; in this case, the most vulnerable ones have to become a rich influencer’s content in order to get the care they need.

They are angry at him for perpetuating the status quo. But, they also believe the problem is very much macro and he is just a mere detail. And yes, politics is everybody’s problem; no matter how apathetic you are, it still affects your life and will always do. You better care about fixing the system because there is no guarantee you won’t end up on the bottom rung of society.

Maybe I am just being a woke radical postmodern marxist communist feminist libtard here. But, I believe humans have the right to be taken care of and not getting ourselves exploited for it, humans should help each other without expecting anything in return…

… And I also believe just because something feels good, that does not mean it actually is.

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Humour and pedestals

I can enjoy comedies and I can enjoy dramas. But, I love comedy-dramas even more and that’s one of the many reasons why I love Everything Everywhere All At Once.

While it is not a must, I consider it a big plus point when a work of fiction makes me feel a wide-range of contrasting emotions… and comedy-dramas are certainly great in that regard.

Obviously, simply adding jokes won’t do. In excess, they can be too distracting and stick out like sore, infected thumbs. I mean, they are called comedy-dramas; the name calls for a balance of lightheartedness and seriousness.

I also don’t think crassness is necessarily bad in comedy-dramas. As long as we weren’t promised family-friendliness and the jokes thematically fits the story, I won’t be put-off.

EEAAO fulfills them. Not only the amount of jokes isn’t excessive, the humour style fits the story’s overall absurdity. Not to mention I didn’t expect the film to be family-friendly/

There is also another aspect of humour which I find intriguing: it compels us to not take a story too seriously

I know I am pointing out the obvious here. But, we can easily slip to such territory, especially when the story is thematically and emotionally-loaded; the humour reminds us that we can also have fun.

I don’t know whether some people find EEAAO snooty or not. But, if they exist, they are a minority among the detractors; from what I observe, they hate it mostly for its “woke” content (for having minorities as main and non-stereotypical characters), “incomprehensible” story and “Rick and Morty” humour.

In fact, they believe those reasons – especially the last one – should disqualify the film from getting any nominations.

Wait, shouldn’t it be a bad thing that a film I consider to be of high quality… is not being taken seriously by many?

Well, no.

I don’t see anything wrong about loving a film; if anything, enjoyment of arts and entertainment is innately human. But, there is also such thing as loving something a bit too much.

If you love something way too much, you are going to perceive it as an utter perfection. Your mind refuses to believe it can have any flaws. You are going to end up extremely self-righteous, if not borderline delusional.

As much as I adore EEAAO, I should also be reminded that it may not be as deep as it seems; the humour – the lighthearted aspect of the film – is that great reminder.

And the harsh criticisms, particularly about the humour?

I don’t let differing opinions affect my enjoyment. But, the film’s lack of universal acclaim also benefits me. It reminds me that my tastes are not universal and the world does not revolve around them. It gives me humility.

Two of my favourite film directors are Andrei Tarkovsky and Ingmar Bergman. Without doubt, they are giants of the arthouse world, certainly beyond the league of Scorcese, Coppola, Tarantino and the likes.

But, their works’ humourlessness can be a problem; because of the seriousness, I feel more compelled to put those films on the highest pedestal…. and I also feel more compelled to put myself on it, simply for loving them.

Obviously, I don’t need humour to keep my film appreciation unpretentious and humble. But, in my case, it certainly helps big time.

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How to be a true lover of cinema

*puts on a mask*

Re-define the word “cinema”

Objectively, it means the production and distribution of films. Nothing more or less. But, it shouldn’t be enough for you.

You have to define “cinema” as “good and artistic” films. You should never acknowledge mediocre films as parts of the “cinema”, even though they objectively are.

You have to be stubborn about it. You have to insist that definition is the only correct definition. If someone dares to spew the objective one, you have to shame them worse than you shame anti-vaxxers.

Be black-and-white

You cannot enjoy both the arts and escapist entertainment. It does not matter if most of the films you love are artistic; enjoying just one Marvel film will cancel out every single drop of your sophistication. One bad apple spoils the barrel.

Turn your love of film into your entire personality

Your self-worth as a human being is entirely decided by your film taste. Love just one bad film and you are as good as a book-burning Nazi.

Worship directors like Coppola, Scorsese and Tarantino

You know, the directors who make violent and/or action-packed films that win awards and profits from all over. You are not a true film lover until you admire the likes of them.

No, filmmakers like Andrey Tarkovsky and Ingmar Bergman do not count. Their films are too artsy. Good films should be artistic enough for critics, but not too artistic for Hollywood executives.

Yes, awards matter. It does not matter how a great film is. If it does not win any awards, it may as well be a Marvel film. A good filmmaker must commit the appeal to authority fallacy: defining their self-worth solely based on the establishments’ opinions.

Whitewash history

Yes, commercialisation has always existed and it reaches a new high in the recent years. But, you cannot acknowledge that.

You have to assert that commercialisation of cinema did not exist before the Marvel Cinematic Universe. You have to pretend old Hollywood was all about artistic integrity.

You have to ignore that directors like Coppola and Scorsese were given creative freedom NOT because Hollywood executives cared about the arts, but because those young directors increased ticket sales.

Take the human out of cinema

If you love a film simply because of how entertained you are or how enthralled you are by its beauty, then you are doing it wrong.

The only things you should care about are the techniques. Embracing your humanness is antithetical to the true purpose of cinema. You should consume films like a robot would.

Who cares if you are not into crime stories? If a crime film is well-made (and it wins awards), you have to love it. You must choose it as one of your favourite films ever!

Don’t be a human. Be a robot!

*takes off the mask*

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Health tips are annoying

Seriously, they are so basic, it is insulting.

We do know about the benefits of exercise and balanced diet! We do know what happens when we fail to fulfil them! Believe it or not, most of us do have basic knowledge in human health!

They don’t realise that most of us want to hear something new and useful.

I want tips on how to start eating right, how to start exercising, how to maintain the lifestyle in the long run and without bankrupting myself. Less on WHAT and more on the goddamn HOW.

You cannot expect (demand) people to do something when you never tell them how to do it.

I don’t know exactly why they keep regurgitating the same basic knowledge. I assume it has something to do with their conceitedness.

The inclination may have led them to think they are the only ones blessed with basic health knowledge. While their hearts are in the right place, you cannot help others by infantilising them. If anything, they won’t take heed of any of your words.

Maybe their intention was never pure in the first place. They regurgitate the same shit over and over again because they love preaching on other people’s faces, because self-righteousness is their only source of empowerment.

Or maybe, just maybe, they are so convinced about their method’s effectiveness, they insist on repeating it… and, instead of blaming themselves for the failure, they blame it on other people.

Overall, those people suck and they have no right to complain about not being listened to.

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What a fugly piece of work

 

In a busy part of Jakarta, there used to be a rather infamous art installation called Getah Getih, created by artist Joko Avianto. This is the picture:

Getah Getih.jpg

Every time I look at it, I can’t help by thinking how fugly it was. It looked like carrots that were so deformed, they almost looked like a reclining nude body. Half a billion Rupiah was spent on that monstrosity. As the governor claimed it was meant to be a temporary installation, it was eventually disassembled… thankfully.

In a comment section of a newspaper’s Facebook page, me and other readers bashed the artwork for its ugliness. Unsurprisingly, there was that one person who thought the installation was beautiful and the haters were uncultured peasants.

He praised the installation because it was made out of bamboo, which he said was traditionally Indonesian, and it supposedly signified the battlefield flag of the soldiers of an ancient kingdom; I did find out Getah Getih was the flag of the Majapahit kingdom.

The more I think about those arguments, the more I find them idiotic.

The installation was an abstractly-shapedbamboo-based public art work that supposedly depicted a historical event, located in an arguably westernised Indonesian big city dominated by concrete-dependent international style architecture, asphalt roads, machinery and strong disregard of the country’s own heritages.

As it was meant to be public, it had to blend in with the surrounding; but, instead of doing so and -as it was meant to be artistic- enthralling the urban inhabitants with visual beauty, the ill-conceived contrast made itself a giant eyesore. Being different just for the sake of it is a good advice… if you don’t care about contributing anything.

If Getah Getih was a stand-alone installation in an art exhibition or used as a decoration of an indoor place with ‘traditional’ or ‘natural’ aesthetics,  it would be a lot more beautiful!

And surely, if you want to teach the historically-illiterate masses about history, shouldn’t you be careful when utilising abstract shapes and make sure they cannot be interpreted too loosely? Even after knowing what the title means, I still cannot unsee the deformed carrots. At least, make the shapes more clear-cut!

I know I sound like bashing the artist. But, I have seen photos of his other works and they actually look beautiful! Even without any thematic contexts being presented, their abstract bamboo aesthetics harmonise really well with their surroundings; I love The Continuous Stage way more! The problem seems to lie on the poorly-thought-out commission.

Oh, and about that pretentious snob (no, I am not talking about myself)…

He said his museum visits made him an art expert. When I said I also had visited museums, he chastised me for being conceited. So, you know, he was hypocrite…

… And too delighted of himself.

He patted himself on the back simply for calling an art work ‘beautiful’ and ‘meaningful’. While this sounds like an angry and far-fetched conjecture (which it is), I would not be surprised  if he call a literal pile of shit ‘beautiful’ and ‘meaningful’ if it was presented as an art work that represents human shittiness. As much as I love the arts, I would never praise any art works willy-nilly, regardless of their styles and themes.

I also don’t know why he was so obsessed with bamboo; Indonesia is not the only place where it is a traditional material. But, even if it is exclusively ours, I don’t see how it makes an art work more profound. If there is a bamboo art work that glorifies our colonial past, I doubt that person would see anything profound about it (or maybe, he would).

 

 

 

 

 

Living the life… like an idiot

A friend of mine constantly criticises me for being ignorant in certain topics. But, instead of giving me evidences that prove my ignorance, he simply advises me to ‘live the life’.

Of course, there are two problems with that.

First, the phrase ‘live the life’ is obnoxious. When my friend says that, I know he means I should leave the house more often and do things other than staying at home, watching Youtube videos. But, technically, me enjoying online entertainment means I am living the life. Saying that I am not is as self-righteous as saying Marvel films are not cinema.

Second, what he is basically saying is I need to have more anecdotes. Unless you are a Lauren Southern wannabe (which many humans are), you know damn well that understanding the world  requires something more concrete than our personal experiences. I use a lot of anecdotes in my blogs and I admit that they make my writings argumentatively weaker.

Virtually every person I have interacted with has implemented my friend’s advice… and I can certainly say many of them are more ignorant and immature than I am.

Almost all of them believe in pseudosciences and easily fall for conspiracies and hoaxes.

Lots of them believe popularity defines quality. Therefore, they believe popular people and things should and always be respected.

Many of them do not know how to handle contentions. They, even older people, will resort to childish attacks against me and they always fail to provide refuting evidences; for them, their old ages prove that they are right and I am wrong.

One Muslim activist, who has supposedly dealt with a wide range of nasty people and learned how to deal with fellow human beings, thought the proper way to silence my harsh criticism against her was to criticise my profile picture.

Not only teachers gave me wrong information, some of them even inserted their literally-interpreted religious beliefs into the lessons.

People who have travelled all over the world and have interacted with people of highly contrasting backgrounds can still end up as identity-politics-loving bigots.

And I haven’t taken a shot at complete strangers yet.

In Indonesia, our current coordinating minister of human development and culture suggests that wealthy people marrying the poor will eliminate poverty.

A nutritionist working for the Indonesian Child Protection Commission introduced the Indonesian public to the urban legend of getting impregnated while swimming.

The mayor of Indonesian city of Tangerang, who has a master’s degree in healthcare administration, once claimed that instant noodles and babies formula milk turned babies gay.

The current Indonesian health minister says prayer is the be-all and end-all protection against the COVID-19 viruses.

When campaigning for the gubernatorial election, the incumbent governor of Jakarta once said a city would still beautiful even with the presence of slums.

The current minister of education had to teach the MPs what competence assessment was.

In America, there are medical professionals who openly oppose compulsory vaccinations, despite the scientifically-proven importance of herd immunity.

Despite his years of experiences as a science communicator, Neil deGrasse Tyson still tactlessly tweeted about how Americans should not be emotionally-invested in mass shootings because of the relatively low death rate.

A University of Oklahoma journalism professor, someone who is supposedly competent in words usage, thoughtlessly compared the word ‘Boomer’ to the N-word.

Donald Trump, a supposedly successful businessman who graduated from an Ivy League university, does not know how tariffs work, does not know how to create deals without pissing off the other parties and does not know how to speak like an educated adult.

Marketing and PR professionals, who supposedly know how to read the fucking rooms, still end up with insensitive and tactless ideas.

I can do this all day.

What makes this even more frustrating is that my friend and I LOVE to bash those idiots. In fact, much of our interactions revolve around that activity!

If he simply told me to ‘live the life’ because I need to fulfil my basic human needs, I would be okay with it. Instead, he had to embellish the advice with this pseudo-philosophy.

I have done things outside my house… and frankly, they teach me nothing.

I used to take various extracurricular activities like Bridge and basketball (the latter was forced by mom). I used to attend more family gatherings and I actually tried hanging out with other students in my senior high school.

And I learned nothing from those activities.

The extracurricular activities taught me nothing. Bridge taught me nothing about the importance of competitions, cooperations and strategy. Basketball taught me nothing about the importance of physical fitness and the joy of exercising. My interactions with relatives and school mates did not teach me social skills and did not teach me the joy of human interactions.

In fact, my interactions with fellow human beings fed me pseudoscientific and problematic views, which I gobbled up easily. All of my moments of realisation occurred when I was alone.

If it wasn’t for my solitary reflections and my time spent online and writing, I would have never realised how piece of shit I was (still am).

I would never knew how gullible, immature, pretentious and self-righteous I was. I would never knew how pseudoscientific and problematic most of my views were.

Thanks for my ‘not-living-the-life’ lifestyle, I have learned to accept that life is inherently grey and will always be, regardless of my attempt to pigeonhole it.

I have learned to accept that my words, including the ones in this ranty essay, will definitely bite my ass in the future.

If I do the so-called ‘live the life’ lifestyle, I am certain that not only I would never improve as a person, I would probably end up becoming an even more horrible individual.

It is not far-fetched to say that my old self had the chance of becoming a religious extremist or someone who spreads harmful pseudoscientific beliefs.

 

 

 

 

How to report problem countries

Obviously, every country is a problem country. And yes, including the so-called number one country, the so-called United States of America.

In this context, I am referring to countries like Iran and North Korea which are known for their severe human rights violations and have been extensively and negatively covered by foreign (mostly western) media.

  • I hate sugar-coating. I believe exposing the factual negative aspects of certain countries is not inherently hateful; there is nothing wrong about sticking to the truth.
  • But, it can be hateful when we insist the coverage must be entirely negative and are offended by the idea of showcasing genuine positivity because we want to keep affirming any prevailing preconceived notions.
  • I first noticed this when I watched the North Korean episodes of Departure, a traveling TV show which focuses less on the destinations and more on the journeys; they received backlashes for allegedly spewing pro-North Korea propaganda.

    Correct me if I am wrong. But, from my knowledge, a country’s propaganda should brag about its non-existing divine perfection and work as the ruling government’s ideological mouthpiece.

    Departure does none of those things.

    While the hosts did not mention the human rights violations of the countries they visited, they also never tried to paint them in an entirely positive light.

    The show is entirely non-political. The hosts only care about exploring nature and interacting with the locals; the latter is the theme of the North Korean episodes.

    If anything, I believe the show does the ordinary and unprivileged ordinary North Koreans a great favour.

    Because of the lack of political agenda, the white Anglo-Canadian hosts had no problems interacting with a group of East Asians who grew up isolated from the rest of the world. The resulting interactions were wonderfully wholesome.

    The episodes do not depict cultural clashes, they depict people who enjoy each other’s presence despite the linguistic and cultural barriers.

    They depict humans who see each other as fellow human beings.

    But, some people didn’t like it. They believed the only way to give the North Koreans a favour was to focus entirely on the system that oppressed them.

    I disagree with that belief.

    North Korea is not just an obscure country that most people haven’t heard of; they have, albeit sometimes mistaking it for its sibling down south. Because of that, negative media coverage is not only common, it is over-saturated.

    The over-saturation results in the dehumanisation of the North Korean people. Let’s face it: most of us don’t see North Korea as a country where fellow humans live, they see it as a giant oppressive machine that must be destroyed at all cost.

    And, whether you believe or not, this kind of dehumanisation already has a negative effect on the state of humanity.

    It is not a secret that many people, especially neoconservative westerners, support invasions of repressive countries like North Korea without any regards of innocent casualties; I mean, if they really care, they would not get aroused by the idea of violent invasions and would not perceive any innocent casualties as mere “collateral damage”.

    While I don’t pay as much attention to it, I also notice the same thing with how western media treats Iran.

    The humanisation of the Iranian people is way more well-received. But, unfortunately, the demand for dehumanisation prevails among the politically-outspoken degenerates.

    Many still refuse to see Iran as a place where humans live… which is why, just like in the case of North Korea, they are not hesitant to support violent military interventions against it.

    I do have my own solution to deal with this problem. But, not only it is made by a non-expert, it is also rather tricky to implement.

    If a country has been almost entirely negatively reported by foreign media and you want to make a documentary (or something similar) about it instead of a normal news report, there are two things you can do.

    The first thing you can do is to cover positive things about said country and tell the world its previously unknown faces.

    And when I say “positive”, I mean genuinely so. They should be based on facts instead of the political establishments’ rhetorics. You have to make sure the presentation of positivity does not paint the country in an entirely positive light.

    Youtuber Louis Cole AKA FunForLouis made a series of vlogs of him and his friends visiting North Korea. Even though I was never subscriber, I was intrigued…. and was quickly disappointed.

    Obviously, I should watch the sequels as well. But, in the end of the first video, he said North Korea was not as bad as people claimed simply because he and his friends were greeted with a touristy welcome; at that moment, he seemed to perceive a choreographed performance as an excellent representation of the reality.

    I was already repulsed about those overtly-polished Youtube vlogs. Cole’s ignorant comment only intensified my repulsion.

    Departures has proven that, if you use your brain a bit more and don’t easily fall for deceptive veneers, you can shed a positive light on an oppressive country without becoming its government’s propaganda tool.

    But, if you are reasonable iffy about making positive coverage and still prefer to do a negative one, I have a second tip: find a fresh angle.

    If you keep repeating the same real life horror stories, the only thing you would be good at is affirming simplistic prejudgements about North Korea and discouraging outsiders from humanising the victims due to the lack of nuances.

    I think the Youtube channel Asian Boss does a great job in getting the fresh angles. Instead of treating their North Korean interviewees as propaganda tools to exploit, they treat them as individuals with human stories to tell.

    As a result, not only it results in ethically-dignified documentaries, it also unearths surprising facts about the country they are defecting from.

    For instance, even though the consumption of foreign media is prohibited in general, I did not know that consumption of South Korean media will result in more severe punishments than the consumption of western one. It confirms one of our preconceived notions…. but, in a rather complex way.

    I specifically said this tip is only for those who make documentaries and the likes and NOT for journalists who solely make daily and relatively short reports.

    Why? Because it is obvious that my tips, especially the second one, require in-depth analyses and cannot be simply done in less than a day or even a week.

    Well, they can. But, the results would be sloppy.

    Okay, I am aware of how horrible my suggestions are; not only I have zero experiences in the media industry, my words are not precise and technical enough to be practically useful. Heck, even if I am a highly-experienced professional, my suggestions would not be the be-all and end-all.

    But, even then, the unreliability of my tips does not mean the media industry is perfect as it is. Every person with functioning brain cells knows mediocrity and lacking integrity are embraced as virtues.

    Public discourses about the ethics of depicting authoritarian countries are almost non-existent and, for reasons I have mentioned in this essay, it is something to be reasonably angry about.

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  • Feminists and anti-feminists: a common ground

    *puts on a mask*

    Some people support feminism because they believe it is the most effective way to coerce women into embracing western liberal values.

    They shame women who willingly embrace modest fashion, who willingly choose to become stay-at-home moms, who willingly choose to become abstinent and who willingly choose to become/stay religious.

    Their reasoning? They want to liberate women from the oppressive and medieval eastern values, especially the Islamic ones.

    Some people oppose feminism because they want to protect women from western values and coerce them to keep embracing eastern values, particularly the Islamic ones.

    They shame women who willingly show the slightest appearances of their skin, hair and bodily curves, who willingly choose to be unmarried and childless and who willingly choose to have active sex lives.

    Their reasoning? They want to liberate women from the oppressive and overtly-sexualised western liberal values.

    I have to a suggestion for both feminists and anti-feminists:

    Why don’t you just make peace with each other?

    I mean, it is quite obvious how you actually have something in common with each other: you are advocating to take women’s right to think and act for themselves under the pretense of liberating them.

    Wouldn’t your goals become easier to achieve when you find a common ground with the “others” and form a gigantic and influential alliance?

    Together, you can oppress women to the fullest.

    *takes off the mask*

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    The problem with forgiveness

    We think we have the right to forgive every person who have committed wrongdoings.

    But, we don’t.

    The prerogative to forgive does not immediately apply to every person in existence. It only immediately so to those who are directly affected by the wrongdoings.

    If you are directly affected by one of those wrongdoings, you are literally the only person who has the right to forgive those who have harmed you.

    Your loved ones have the right to forgive once you have manifested WHOLEHEARTED forgiveness. After they have expressed THE EXACT SAME THING or AFTER THEY ARE DECEASED, the right now transfers to your acquaintances and also to complete strangers who have heard about your suffering.

    But, what if you are deceased?

    Obviously, that right immediately goes to your loved ones. Oh, and when I said “loved ones”, I meant it. Your immediate family members do not immediately count ones.

    Just because you are related to someone, that does not mean you love one another. If anything, it is no secret that family members have not only trivialised the sufferings of their so-called loved ones, but also have intentionally inflicted pain on them.

    If your best friends have shown how much they care about you more than your immediate family have, then they are your true “loved ones” and your family can fuck themselves!

    I believe this problem exists because we communalise sufferings.

    We believe in the idea that if one person suffers, every other person definitely feels the exact same pain. We believe that there is nothing wrong about pretending to feel the exact same pain.

    Even if someone experiences the exact same affliction that you have or had, it does not mean you fully understand his/her suffering. Literally everybody is different; how you live your life won’t always work on other people. Forgiveness is not a universally effective antidote.

    Those who suffer do not need our pretense. They need our empathy.

    Empathy does not require us to pretend. Empathy requires us to simply acknowledge that what they are experiencing is painful to them, even though we don’t feel the pain ourselves.

    —-

    This anger of mine has been slowly brewing for years and the brewing started to intensify when I saw internet users who believed the Nazi war criminals should be forgiven and we should just drop the idea of prosecuting them just because they are old.

    It deeply disturbs me because not only they trivialised the severity of human atrocity committed by the Nazis, they don’t even have any family members who endured the concentration camps.

    Well, I am inclined to believe so because they didn’t mention having victims and survivors of the holocaust as family members. If they want their pleas to be more emotionally impactful, shouldn’t they mention about having those relatives?

    Either they suck in persuasion or they are assholes.

    My anger peaked when one of those plea makers cited the post-genocide Rwanda as a stellar example of forgiveness.

    Except, it is a dreadful example.

    When interviewed by Humans of New York, Rwandan president Paul Kagame said the country decided to not punish those who partook in the genocide.

    Why? Because he said it was impossible to imprison almost the entire country.

    Essentially, what Rwanda did was not forgiveness. What they did was absolution, a state-sanctioned formality, which itself driven by admittedly much needed yet still callous sense of pragmatism.

    It is just dishonest to call this “forgiveness”, isn’t it?

    Forgiveness is supposed to benefit humanity. Instead, it is being used to undermine it.

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