Facing fears can be pointless

Some fears do need to be confronted when they are severe enough to cripple our daily lives. You know, fearing social interactions to the point where one suffers from agoraphobia.

Do I have fear of them? Yes, I do and my stuttering may be either the cause or the exacerbating factor. Sometimes, when I have to communicate with strangers using more than ten sentences, I do get nervous.

But, they are always manageable. You won’t see me sweating and hyperventilating. I can easily go to stores, banks, gas stations and any places where the strangers are.

Considering I – an introverted, socially-awkward and stuttering homebody – am able live my daily social life and fulfil my practical needs with great ease, I see no reasons why I should waste my time and energy getting rid of something which is practically a trivial nuisance.

Out of social pressure, I tried to get rid of it by interacting with more people. Every time I do that, I become more aware of my own stuttering and awkwardness, needlessly amplifying my self-awareness. Essentially, I become an even bigger wreck.

It is the similar with my fear of height.

It is rare for me to be in a situation where fearlessness against height benefits me. I don’t have window-cleaning or the likes as a job.

And yes, just like my fear of social interactions, my fear of height never cripples me. I never have problems looking down from a cliff or a high-rise building and, unless there is bad weather or a recent news of a crash, an airplane ride is doable for me.

And yes, I have also been coerced to get rid of it and the attempts are not only futile, they give me a bad mood for the rest of the day.

My point is we should focus on actually debilitating defects, instead of the ones that people demand us to fix because they let other people’s trivial weaknesses ruin their lives.

It is like spending time and money to remove a tiny mole on one’s skin simply because it does not meet some else’s shallow beauty standard.

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