Why I support state Sharia

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*puts on a mask*

Simple answer: it discriminates no one! First of all, why would state-implemented Sharia discriminates Muslims? We all want it, every single one of us. Even though there are over a billion of us, we all think the same! That is why there is no such thing as “Islamic denominations”; those Shias, Sufis, Quranists, Liberals and Ahmadis are Jews in disguises. That is why there is no such thing “interpretations” of Islam; if you want to know the one and only true Islam, just ask the lovable Daesh. Just follow it and you will be from harm.

Second, if it doesn’t discriminate Muslims, why would it discriminate those infidels? As much as I hate it, they are unreachable. They are guarded with devices that create protective invisible bubbles, blocking out Sharia’s “tough love” grips. Israeli-made. Those f**king Jews! Thanks to them, there is not a single infidels who got affected by Sharia. I dream of a world where they are also punished. Aaaah, it will always be a utopia.

Lastly, What is so bad about the whole thing? Seriously, do you prefer how the infidels handle crimes: fair trials and non-violent punishments? Ew! Humanity is only for softies who prefer emotions over logic. They even don’t know their priorities! Instead of punishing corrupters, why don’t they punish people who have consensual non-marital sex? It is unfair to sleazy and unattractive virgins like me!

Sharia! I want Sharia NOW!! NOW!!! I SAID NOW!!!!

MUUUUMMY!!! THEY ARE DISCRIMINATING ME!!! MUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!

*takes off the mask*

Vote!

*puts on a mask*

There are two good reasons why you need to always vote:

1. Voting makes you look contributive.

It doesn’t matter if you actually aren’t. If your vote turned into vampiric leeches who suck the blood of the people until they shrivelled up like dried fruits, Don’t worry. It is indeed your fault. But, you can blame it on the non-voters, who didn’t contribute anything to the country’ demise.

2. Voting makes you look intelligent and informed.

Again, it doesn’t matter if you actually aren’t. It is okay to use the “vote for the lesser evil” argument, which is a nice way of saying “vote for evil is good and no vote is evil”. It is okay to be effortlessly duped by politicians. It is even okay to know nothing about what you vote for…just like the genius Brits who voted for Brexit and were disappointed when it won.

Many voters are guilty of them and yet their image are still wrongly blemished (reminds me of corrupt politicians who got revoted over and over again). I think we should thank one group of people: the unbelievably naive imbeciles. Those critters, who are still influential, are naive about what it takes to be good citizens. They still believe we have to always vote, no matter how poorly-informed we are about the choices and/or how obscene they are. Thanks to them, genuinely repellent voters still have good reputation. If you want it, be one.

*takes off the mask*

I oppose diversity…

*puts on a mask*

…because it is the only source of world’s problems. It provokes us to dehumanise and even violently harm each other. Sectarian politics does not cause intolerance nor does greed. It is all diversity’s fault.

…because human differences make me uncomfortable. It is unsettling how many people out there with cultural identities different from mine. If I have such discomfort, others must have it as well. My feelings are objective.

…because it encourages introspection about my own cultural heritage. That is unacceptable! Mine is perfect the way it is! Introspection will force me to acknowledge the imperfection beneath.

…because it allows people to speak any languages they want.

…because it allows them to embrace any religions they want.

…because it allows them to eat any food they want.

…because it allows them to enjoy any kinds of art and entertainment they want.

…because it plants the seed of hatred inside, making me demonise my fellow humans, turning me to a bloodthirsty BEAST THAT KILLS ANYONE WHO DARE TO BE DIFFERENT FROM ME!!!! AAAAAAAARRGGGHHH!!!

*Transform into a grotesque-looking beast from hell called The Diabolical Supremacist*

ROOOOOOOAAAAAAARRRR!!!!!!!!

*start gutting the innocent humans around me*

DIVERSITY MAKES ME DO THIS!!! DIVERSITY MAKES ME DO THIS!!!! PLEASE!!! MAKE IT STOP!!! MAKE IT STOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!!

*takes off the mask*