Mayoritas yang Manja di Indonesia

MUI membuat fatwa yang melarang tempat-tempat kerja mengharuskan karyawan-karyawan Muslim untuk mengenakan atribut-atribut Natal. Fatwa tersebut banyak mendapatkan tantangan dari masyarakat, terutama kalangan non-Muslim.

Banyak dari kita yang Muslim kesal dengan keluhan mereka. Kita menganggap mereka tidak menghormati kehidupan umat Muslim. Kita menganggap mereka memaksakan kehendak. Kita menganggap fatwa tersebut hanya memengaruhi kita sendiri.

Jika anda percaya itu, berarti anda bebal terhadap kenyataan kehidupan beragama di Indonesia.

FPI, mengikuti fatwa yang dibuat dengan ceroboh, melakukan razia hiasan natal di berbagai pusat-pusat perbelanjaan di Surabaya. Persetan dengan umat Nasrani! Tidak boleh ada perayaan natal! Itupun hanya satu contoh. Tanpa FPI pun, umat Muslim di Indonesia akan tetap “dihormati”.

Jangan salah. Saya juga percaya bahwa kalangan mayoritas dapat didiskriminasi, seperti orang-orang berkulit hitam di Afrika Selatan pada zaman Apartheid dan umat Syiah di Irak yang pemerintahnya dikuasai umat Sunni. Tetapi, hal itu tidak terjadi terhadap umat Muslim Indonesia.

Doa-doa Islami selalu dilakukan di acara-acara yang dihadiri umat non-Muslim. Kementerian agama dikuasai oleh umat Muslim. Banyak perguruan tinggi yang didanai langsung oleh pemerintah. Jadwal berbagai saluran TV dirubah setiap bulan puasa. Kita bukan hanya mayoritas yang dihormati, kita juga adalah mayoritas yang terlalu dimanja.

Selama bertahun-tahun lamanya, kita memiliki status yang lebih tinggi dibandingkan kelompok-kelompok agama lain di negeri ini. Akibatnya, kita menjadi sangat manja. Kemanjaan itu membuat kita membalikan badan terhadap diskriminasi yang dialami kalangan minoritas. Kemanjaan itu membuat kita merasa ditindas jika mereka meminta hak-hak lebih yang sewajarnya.

Kemanjaan itu membuat kita sebagai gerombolan yang tidak tahu diri.

Different types of Trump supporters

*puts on a mask*

The bigots:

They believe Trump will bring back the supposedly-existing natural superiority of the Aryans. Fuck those *insert various racial slurs here*. They don’t seem to mind that he’s an orange humanoid. They also believe he’ll strengthen the supposedly-natural hetero-normative idea that sexuality’s a moral choice.

The rights activists:

They praise him for his advocacy of equality and tolerance. They think him appointing white supremacists and homophobes isn’t a big deal. It’s a joke even. Obviously, the bigots will change their stances once in power. There are no such thing as powerful bigots.

The ones that are too desperate for changes:

They want changes no matter what. They don’t care if the new paths are leading us to a pile of diseased diarrhea belched out by an orange humanoid.

The business-minded ones:

They believe friendly business environment is the sole definition of humanity. Social justice is too worthlessly trivial. Thriving corporations is better than treating each other humanely. Therefore, it’s reasonable to vote for a four-times businessman.

The poor rural whites 1:

They are constantly neglected by those city slickers. They believe the man who was born rich, given a million dollar loan by his father, outsources jobs and has never experienced a single day in poverty is what they need. Nothing stupid about that.

The poor rural whites 2:
Again, the city slickers neglect them. That’s why they want to ruin their lives by deliberately voting for a destructive humanoid. Obviously, if you ruin the life of someone who neglects you, he/she would end up taking care of you. He/she would not have an actually good reason to neglect you.

The self-hating Muslims:

They feel they deserve nothing but mistreatment by their fellow human beings. They dream of getting all sorts of abuse, including waterboarding. It’s a BDSM kink of theirs. Don’t judge! Different strokes for different folks!

The America-hating Muslims:

They believe getting Trump elected is the best way to annihilate the power-hungry nation. No need to establish an army of exploitable Muslims who crave the sense of belonging and knows nothing about the extremist group they are joining.

*takes off the mask*

The problems with anti-Ahok demonstrations

Brainless Muslims

The alleged blasphemy never existed in the first place. It’s obvious how the incriminating video was edited by Buni Yani, a proudly irresponsible and victim card-playing human being.

The editing is so obvious, even for the untrained eyes. All you need is to use your brain. Well, if you have one, anyway.

Easily offended Muslims

Whether Ahok was being blasphemous or not, that’s irrelevant. If he was, so what?

Are we so fragile against criticism of our own religion? Do we really believe everyone must love Islam?

If Islam is really the truest and strongest of all religions, do we really need to defend it so aggressively to the point of making the complete opposite impression?

I am sure the people who got offended by Ahok’s so-called blasphemy love to offend the sentiment of other religious groups. The right of being angry is exclusively theirs.

Naming the December 2nd demonstration as a “peaceful act”

Demonstration was done in the first place because certain people possessed hatred against someone that they deem offend them.

Demonstrators were caught red-handed harassing reporters.

FPI, who is no stranger sectarianism and extremism, was involved in the demonstration.

They did their Friday prayer in the middle of the road, disturbing other road users. The prayer could have been done in mosques.

They also promise more demonstrations in the future. They won’t stop until Ahok is arrested for something he didn’t do.

Is it appropriate to call this divisiness “peaceful”?

The wrapped rice army

It’s not a secret in Indonesia. Many of us are willing to demonstrate for the sake of rice and small allowance. Whether they understand the message of the demonstration, it doesn’t matter. Just give them the rewards.

It is tempting to Indonesians who live in poverty. But, I know that many of us are willing to whore ourselves even for the smallest rewards.

Money-oriented news coverage

I am delighted about the two counter-demonstrations. They may not have any depth. They may be used as vehicles for political parties. But, that doesn’t matter. What matters is their explicit message about the beauty of Bhinneka Tunggal Ika (Unity in Diversity), especially in this increasingly sectarian age.

But, I am disappointed with the coverage by the media, both domestic and foreign, who focused too much on the anti-Ahok demonstrations and too little on the counter ones. Bad news thicken our pockets.

This kind of coverage unwittingly portrays those humans of hatred as the representatives of all mankind, as if their views are the only ones that matter. In the end, they are given more power the peace-loving and pluralist human beings.

Because of their great influence, the media has a responsibility for the society. But then, they think profit is more important.

Blasphemy legislation

I am one of the people who oppose it.

Even though I hate what people say about my religion, I also believe in individual freedoms. I cannot force others to love my religion like I do. I also have to learn to not get offended easily.

More often than not, a statement is considered as blasphemous…if it contradicts with the views of many. Figures like Quraish Shihab and Ulil Abshar Abdallah have such statements.

They never intended to be that way. What they do is having their own interpretations of the scripture. The problem rises when others disagree with them.

This legislation is dangerous because it prosecutes anyone who dares to think differently.

Naming the demonstrations as “defense of Islam”

Do you want to beautify our name? Show that we actually deserve respect.

Show the world that we are peace-loving.

Show them that we are intelligent and willing to have civilised conversations.

Show them that we are willing to treat everyone humanely, not matter what their backgrounds are.

But, that’s not what have been done. Some of us are aroused to do the opposite: being divisive, refusing conversation and even encouraging violence to each other…

…and all of those done in the name of Islam and Muslims.

If that’s how you live your life, don’t call yourself defenders of Islam. In fact, it seems you make efforts to taint the imagine of our religion and our people.

You should be the ones prosecuted for blasphemy, not Ahok.

Permasalahan Seputar Unjuk Rasa Anti-Ahok

Umat Muslim yang tidak menggunakan otak

Penistaan agama yang dimaksud sebenarnya tidak ada wujudnya. Sudah jelas video yang memberatkan Ahok itu disunting oleh Buni Yani, manusia yang bangga dengan ketiadaan rasa tanggung jawab di dalam dirinya dan sok menjadi korban.

Suntingan di video tersebut sangatlah jelas. Anda tidak perlu menjadi seorang pakar untuk melihatnya. Anda hanya perlu menggunakan otak. Jika anda punya, tentunya.

Umat Muslim yang gampang tersinggung

Apakah Ahok benar-benar melakukan penistaaan atau tidak, itu tidak penting. Jika penistaannya memang ada, terus kenapa?

Apakah kita sangat lemah terhadap kritikan terhadap agama kita? Apakah kita benar-benar berpikir bahwa semua orang harus menyukai Islam?

Jika Islam memang agama yang kuat dan paling benar, apa perlu kita bela dengan begitu agresif sehingga menimbulkan kesan yang sebaliknya?

Saya yakin bahwa orang-orang yang tersinggung dengan dugaan penistaan Ahok sering menyinggung perasaan umat beragama yang lain. Tetapi, hanya mereka yang boleh marah.

Menamakan unjuk rasa 212 sebagai “aksi damai”

Unjuk rasa dilakukan karena kebencian sebagian orang-orang terhadap seseorang yang dianggap meyinggung perasaaan mereka.

Para pengunjuk rasa tertangkap basah mengusik beberapa wartawan yang meliput mereka.

FPI, yang terkenal dengan konflik umat beragama ciptaan mereka dan penyebaran ajaran-ajaran ekstrem, terlibat dalam unjuk rasa ini.

Mereka melakukan Shalat Jumat di jalan raya, mengganggu kenyamanan pengguna jalan yang lain, walaupun itu bisa mereka lakukan di berbagai mesjid.

Mereka juga berjanji tidak akan berhenti berunjuk rasa sampai Ahok ditahan karena melakukan sesuatu yang dia tidak pernah lakukan.

Unjuk rasa yang mengikis kesatuan bangsa, itu yang pantas dianggap “damai”?

Pasukan nasi bungkus

Ini bukanlah suatu rahasia di Indonesia. Banyak dari kita bersedia berunjuk rasa hanya demi sebungkus nasi dan uang jajan. Apakah mereka paham dengan masalah yang diunjukrasakan, itu tidak penting. Yang penting adalah mereka dapat imbalan.

Itu tentu saja menggiurkan bagi banyak warga negara Indonesia yang hidup di bawah garis kemiskinan. Tetapi, saya juga tahu bahwa banyak dari kita yang bersedia menjual diri demi imbalan sekecil apapun.

Liputan berita yang mementingkan keuntungan

Saya senang bahwa dua unjuk rasa balasan telah dilakukan. Apakah mereka berbobot atau tidak, itu tidak masalah. Mungkin mereka ditunggangi oleh partai-partai politik. Tetapi, yang penting pesan mereka berpaku pada indahnya Bhinneka Tunggal Ika, apalagi kita hidup di zaman yang semakin berbau SARA.

Tetapi saya kecewa dengan liputan media, baik dari dalam dan luar negeri, yang terlalu terpaku pada unjuk rasa menentang Ahok dan jarang pada unjuk rasa balasan. Berita buruk mempertebal kantong, berita baik tidak.

Liputan yang cenderung terpaku pada manusia-manusia penuh kebencian seolah menggambarkan bahwa mereka mewakili kita semua, seolah-olah hanya sudut pandang merekalah yang pantas didengar. Pada akhirnya, mereka diberi kekuatan lebih daripada manusia-manusia yang cinta damai dan keragaman.

Karena pengaruh mereka yang besar, media seharusnya bertanggung jawab terhadap masyarakat. Tetapi, bagi mereka, kantong tebal jauh lebih penting.

Undang-undang penistaan agama

Saya adalah salah satu dari banyak orang yang menentang UU tersebut.

Walaupun saya benci dengan apa yang dikatakan banyak orang tentang agama saya, saya juga percaya dengan kebebasan individu. Saya tidak bisa memaksakan semua orang untuk menyukai agama saya. Saya juga harus belajar untuk tidak gampang tersinggung.

Sering kali, suatu pernyataan dianggap sebagai penistaan agama…hanya karena bertentangan dengan sudut pandang khayalak. Tokoh-tokoh seperti Quraish Shihab dan Ulil Abshar Abdallah mengeluarkan pernyataan-pernyataan yang dapat dianggap sebagai penistaan.

Mereka tidak pernah berniat melakukan itu. Yang mereka lakukan adalah mengkaji kitab suci Al-Quran dan membuat penafsiran mereka sendiri. Permasalahan muncul karena penafsiran mereka ditentang banyak orang.

UU ini sangatlah berbahaya karena orang-orang dapat dihukum hanya karena pola pikir yang berbeda.

Menamakan unjuk rasa sebagai “aksi bela Islam”

Mau mengharumkan nama umat? Buktikan bahwa kita pantas dihormati.

Tunjukkan bahwa kita adalah umat beradab yang cinta damai.

Tunjukkan bahwa kita adalah umat yang cerdas dan mau melakukan silang pendapat dengan terhormat.

Tunjukkan bahwa kita memerlakukan siapapun dengan cara manusia, apapun latar belakang mereka.

Tetapi, bukan itulah yang dilakukan. Sebagian dari kita terangsang untuk melakukan yang sebaliknya: memancing perpecahan, menolak silang pendapat dan bahkan menganjurkan kekerasan terhadap sesama manusia…

…dan itu semua dilakukan atas nama Islam dan Umat Muslim.

Jika itu adalah cara anda hidup, janganlah anda memanggil diri anda pembela Islam. Justru, anda terkesan berusaha keras untuk menjelek-jelekkan nama agama dan umat kita.

Andalah yang pantas dituntut atas penistaan agama, bukan Ahok.

Give Trump a chance?

Why? Has he proven himself as worthy of it?

He is a politically-experienced, reality show star and four-times-bankruptcy businessman…

…who turned the presidential election into a big fat joke.

After getting elected, he seems surprised by the scope of presidential duties.

…has shown disinterest in intelligence briefings…

…and has broken his own promises.

He upholds pseudoscience.

He fueled Obama birtherism….

…and blaming Hillary Clinton for fueling it, despite the video evidences.

In fact, basic fact-checking is enough to rebuke most of his claims.

He’s in business ties with a Saudi prince, while claiming to be anti-Islamic extremism.

He demands art and entertainment venues to be political safe spaces, ignorant about their age-old purpose.

His feelings are too fragile to embrace even the most constructive criticism.

He retaliates by making personal attacks against his critics…

…and even attempts to silence them. He and his supporters.

He always responds to sexual abuse allegations against him by pointing out to the ones against Bill Clinton, as if it makes his case any better.

He is too eager to use nuclear weapons.

He thinks it’s morally acceptable to kill relatives of terrorists.

He may not be a bigot. But, he panders to actual bigots in order to get their votes.

Not all of his supporters are bigots. But, it took him so damn long to condemn the bigoted ones. Even then, his condemnation is mere words.

If you’re reasonable, you would not trust me with your pen…and my flaws are much more benign compared to his!

He has proven himself as an irresponsible, pathologically-lying, spoiled and bigotry-pandering petulant child who is used to get his ways.

Do you seriously think we should such human a global super-power country with the third largest population on earth?

Why is he given such opportunity? Why can’t we just give it to actually-competent people?

Oh wait, he’s rich and famous. Never mind.

The Brief Tale Of The Citrus Man

Infants cry in terror at his presence. Garden-gnomes connoisseurs think he is the only gnome they abhor. The devoutees believe he’s Satan’s novice. Incubi are shamefaced by him. Sciencemen think he is one rare and grotesque specimen. The more immoral he is, the more he is loved. His existence is a literal abomination.

He is the Citrus Man!

His power? Birthing minions seemingly out of nowhere. Some say they are plucked out fresh from the earth, with shrieks worse than the Mandrakes’. Some say he takes them out of their festering yet safe wardrobes.

He spews vomit and faeces on collossal quanta, burdening our heavily-plagued existence with more diseases. His minions delightfully gorge on them…for different reasons:

Some think his waste isn’t one at all. They earnestly believe it’s a delectable tonic. It’s sadly foreseeable, considering their deplorably impaired senses. Others do see it as waste. Their senses are perfectly functional. Yet, they’re still golloping it. They don’t understand others’ aversion against his filth. That’s not even the worse part.

They want him to be crowned, to be seated on the throne. His Highness, King Citrus Man. Oh, Lord. The aroma may have spread all over the earthly sphere. But, pity the ones who share a realm with him. Pity them who are smothered by his loathly residue.

Of course, others aspirants exist. Sadly, they are a diplomatic swindler, a Janus-faced healer and a sombrely unlettered sportsman. What an assortment.

Even with more honourable challengers, even if they are victorious, the Citrus Man has opened the Pandora’s box. It will take many suns to mend the world, to extinguish every single morsel of the unleashed degeneracy.

His existence is a literal abomination.

Two myths about the older generations

*puts on a mask*

*sighs*

Can’t believe I have to do this in the first place.

1. They raised the newer ones.

That’s a big pile of baby poop. They never did. Not long after they were born, those youths ran away from homes to live in recluse cults. They taught each other how to be spoiled, unsophisticated, crude and immoral. They didn’t get their retarded flaws from their parents grandparents and teachers. They got them from their retarded selves.

2. They created all of the mess.

A slander that hurts their fragile emotions. Come on! It’s no secret that those youths time travelled to decades and even centuries before they were born! Then, they went satanic by perpetrating savagery like crashing the economy, forming the KKK, causing the plagues and even commiting the holocaust! After quenching their thirst of blood of the innocents, they’re framing the poor older people for crimes they didn’t commit.

Take a look at those old farts! Look at their sagging skins. Look at their literally greying hair. Look at their youthfulness tragically slipping away from them. Notice how the graves start appearing around them, whispering invitation to their decrepit ears.

Sad and lame, aren’t they? Do you seriously think such people will raise a generation of retards? Do you seriously think they have the capability to commit long-lasting atrocities? I don’t think so. They even think LOL stands of Lots Of Love.

Just stop it!

*takes off the mask*

The west should refuse the Syrian refugees…

*puts on a mask*

…because they can choose any places they want! They are given menus of countries and all they have to do is to pick one, just like in restaurants!

…because we can help them by staying in their homeland! Why would they need to escape the constant violence? It doesn’t make any sense!

…because of Islam! Islam is a hateful religion, as proven by Muslim extremists and Islamophobes! Christianity is a peaceful one, as proven by KKK, Westboro Baptist Church and the Crusades.

…because of multiculturalism! The west has been culturally static for millennia and those migrants would change everything!

…because they are homophobic and misogynistic! Homophobia and misogyny are the prerogative of westerners!

…because of gender roles! Most of the migrants are young men, as shown by a handful of photos I cherry-picked. It is morally unacceptable! One should prioritise shallow, arbitrary and ever-changing gender roles over personal safety!

…because they have cellphones and laptops! It is obvious that they have enough money to fund their own armies!

…because the west is overcrowded! Why don’t they stay in countries like Jordan, Turkey and Lebanon? Jordan has only half a million refugees while the other two only have a million each. Most western countries have less than a hundred thousand! A hundred thousand is bigger than half a million! Do Math, moran!

…because they should stay in Saudi Arabia! One should prioritise similar cultural and religious heritage over personal safety!

…because some of them committed crimes! They are Arabs/Muslims. Therefore, it is compulsory to judge all refugees based on the actions of a few.

…because they are not humans! Arabs/Muslims do not deserve humane treatment from us! We should treat them like the Nazis treat Jews!

We do have to consider the finance and security before accepting them. I know, I know. But, those are reasonable concerns. Being reasonable is lame.

*takes off the mask*

I oppose diversity…

*puts on a mask*

…because it is the only source of world’s problems. It provokes us to dehumanise and even violently harm each other. Sectarian politics does not cause intolerance nor does greed. It is all diversity’s fault.

…because human differences make me uncomfortable. It is unsettling how many people out there with cultural identities different from mine. If I have such discomfort, others must have it as well. My feelings are objective.

…because it encourages introspection about my own cultural heritage. That is unacceptable! Mine is perfect the way it is! Introspection will force me to acknowledge the imperfection beneath.

…because it allows people to speak any languages they want.

…because it allows them to embrace any religions they want.

…because it allows them to eat any food they want.

…because it allows them to enjoy any kinds of art and entertainment they want.

…because it plants the seed of hatred inside, making me demonise my fellow humans, turning me to a bloodthirsty BEAST THAT KILLS ANYONE WHO DARE TO BE DIFFERENT FROM ME!!!! AAAAAAAARRGGGHHH!!!

*Transform into a grotesque-looking beast from hell called The Diabolical Supremacist*

ROOOOOOOAAAAAAARRRR!!!!!!!!

*start gutting the innocent humans around me*

DIVERSITY MAKES ME DO THIS!!! DIVERSITY MAKES ME DO THIS!!!! PLEASE!!! MAKE IT STOP!!! MAKE IT STOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!!

*takes off the mask*