Memories are weird (for me, at least)

It is a thematic sequel to this essay.

When I travel, I no longer feel the need to take photos and to buy souvenirs; it took me a while to realise that photos and souvenirs cannot bring the memories back to life.

My sense of awe when seeing beautiful sceneries, the tastes of foreign foods on my tongue, the feeling of hot or cold weather stinging my skin, the feeling of cultural shocks.

In theory, photos and souvenirs should be able to revive those sensations. But, they make me feel nothing. The photos only remind me of how fast time has passed. The souvenirs? Well, the T-shirts eventually become rags and the other souvenirs either end up as dust collectors or slowly disintegrate.

With works of entertainment, however, it is an entirely different story.

I always ALWAYS make sure I have access to my favourite books, films, TV shows, music, you name it. I always make sure they are not lost to history.

Okay, I admittedly sound paranoid. In this DNA age, it would take extraordinary events to make any works lost into history; even obscure works would still be preserved in some ways. But, that does not extend to ones published exclusively digitally.

On Youtube, there are quite a lot of Youtubers’ videos which are either made private or deleted entirely for varying reasons; they can be for obvious reasons like the appearance of unsavoury individuals and copyright strikes or they may be entirely undisclosed personal reasons. From what I observe, those missing videos are almost never re-uploaded.

And I hate that.

Unless they are taken down because of the unsavoury individuals, I miss them greatly and I hate myself for not downloading them. In fact, this makes me fearful about the future of Youtube: what happens if most -if not all- of its videos are deleted?

You can see how starkly different my reactions to the memories of travelling and watching Youtube videos are.

I don’t know why. But, it seems my mind perceives experiences like travelling as intangible and experiences like watching Youtube videos as tangible.

Travelling is all about immersing ourselves in different human and natural environments, which are impossible to describe unless we experience them ourselves. Enjoying works of entertainment is all about immersing ourselves in things stored in physical containers; for examples, stories are stored within books and, of course, digital videos are stored within hard drives.

Somehow, that’s how my subconscious defines what is and isn’t tangible. Dumb, I know.

Because of the supposed intangibility, I am content about having memories of experiences like travelling erased from my mind. I am content about the fragile longevity of the intangible ones.

Because of the supposed tangibility, I hate the prospect of losing memories of my favourite works. In my subconscious, tangibility and sturdiness are synonymous; there is no reason for my favourite works to be lost to history, at least not in my (probably short) lifetime.






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Author: The Stammering Dunce

I write blogs. I love to act smarter than I really am and I pretend that my opinions are of any significance. Support me on Patreon:

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